Episode 16: And Now Sam’s Mad!

It’s not that the ballet buffet isn’t spectacular. The roast beef is rare and paper thin, the horseradish walnut sauce mouthwatering. Fresh mussels line flaky beds of puff pastry. Rolls of smoked salmon ooze succulent remoulade. There’s a great-smelling jambalaya, a chafing dish of deep-fried clam balls, ripe olives stuffed with pimiento cheese, coconut meringues, crème caramel.

The problem is no one is expected to eat more than two bites, and Sam has never eaten two bites of anything in her entire life. It’s grossly impolite, for one thing. If you don’t eat, people will think you don’t like their cooking. And if people think you don’t like their cooking, anything could happen. A four-star French chef will throw you out on your ear. A Sicilian grandmother is likely to curse the soles of the feet of your children’s grandchildren.

Sam knows her table manners backwards and forwards, and when one is feeding the five thousand, one has enough for at least ten. It’s a matter of etiquette.

Harry, on the other hand, thinks that anyone that hungry should have eaten before she left home, not a helpful position to take nor one likely to endear him to the ravenous woman at his side, who at this point would cheerfully trade her first born for twelve pieces of tortelloni—and it doesn’t.

And now Sam’s mad.

Previously on The Rocky Road of Love… Episode 1: One Fine Day. Episode 2: Fate and Chèvre. Episode 3: The Rocky Road Ahead. Episode 4: Could This Be Lunch? Episode 5: I Only Have Eyes for Stew. Episode 6: Harry in Love. Episode 7: Dinner for Two. Episode 8: Sam, Line 2. Episode 9: Romance at Home. Episode 10: Barbecue, Beans, and Slow-Pitch Softball. Episode 11: Play Ball! Episode 12: How ‘Bout Them Dawgs! Episode 13: Mercy! Episode 14: Harry Gets Mad! Episode 15: Harry and the Hopelessly Inadequate Ballet Buffet.

Up next … Episode 17: The Last Goodbye.

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